Well, Mr. F. might have been able to play it cool and not obsessively think about possibilities, but I couldn't. To play it safe, I should not hope. Hoping would have me "flying on the wings of anticipation," but then I would plummet into the "depths of despair" if it didn't work out. That was my inclination: to play safe. However, another part of me told me I should hope. That hoping for something so awesome, would show faith. Faith that God would answer our prayers. Faith that he had a plan for our family. To play it safe, or to be daring? Those were my options.
When considering a move, I tried to be open minded about where we would end up. Ultimately, it didn't matter as long as it was best for our family. I really did try to set my will aside. But man, did I have a preference! I grew up in Washington state, and I will always consider the Pacific Northwest to be my home. It is the most beautiful and diverse place in the whole country. I have kicked myself for leaving, not knowing how good I had it. (Although ultimately, life progressed in its intended way.) And when considering the two potential locations, I honestly did feel better about Washington vs. Utah. My sister said I was biased, and that may have been the case, but I also think I could have been convinced if I had felt a different prompting.
So, I decided to be daring. I opened my heart up to the possibility of something awesome: to be able to live in a place that I loved. I poured all my hope into moving back to Washington. I started envisioning a life there. I investigated cities, houses, and public library systems. I contacted my former college roommates--people who would all live less than a two hour drive from our new home. I told them to pray, wish, send out positive vibes to whatever Being they believed in. It was frightening, to hope so much for something, and to be open about it.
And it happened. Mr. F. was offered and took the job in Washington state! I was heading home! I was dumbstruck.
Of course it wasn't smooth sailing, you know that right? To be continued........