Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The Encounter

I saw someone yesterday.  Someone I haven't set eyes on for at least 6 years.  Suddenly, my mind flashed back to who I was six years ago: a single, naive, uncertain graduate student.  I felt so young compared to everyone else, her included, although we were probably similar in age.  I had no idea what the future held for me, but the possibilities seemed endless.

Yesterday, standing in line at the food warehouse, I felt so old--like time had passed on double speed for me compared to her single.  She looked the same--young and carefree, enjoying some mundane errand with her partner, but I felt years older with my preschooler riding in the cart and my not-quite-one-year-old strapped on my person in the carrier.  Instead of following some intellectually stimulating or at least financially rewarding track as one might expect given my education, my life has instead turned into a cliche--the stay-at-home-mom with a minivan buying bulk peanut butter.    

1 comment:

Jaimee said...

Moments like that can be tough. I have had endless encounters of this sort, including those with so many of my high school friends. Many of them are not yet married and most do not have children yet. They have opted to get their careers up and running, children may come later and then they'll be those parents that have both children and a career or at least the memory of a career. It can make you question your choices, question your identity, which seems to have been swallowed up by motherhood. At times like these I have to remind myself of the very important work I am doing. Remind myself of the priority I have made mothering and the wonderful affect that has on children. I have to remind myself that when my kids go off to college I will still be fairly young and able to enjoy that time with my partner and be physically able to really interact and help out with my grandkids, should I have them. And there is time- time to develop hobbies, talents, skills. It won't always be the trenches of early childhood. But it can be so hard to be where we are right now. ((HUGS))

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