Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Pregnancy 2: 39 Weeks
I didn't even write a post at 39 weeks last time around which is sort of a bummer, since I wanted to see if I was as done with pregnancy then as I am now. Because truth be told? I am done. I have been saying that I was done since 36 weeks, but now I am worried about my mental health if I have to continue much longer in this state. Seriously, I am short circuiting, and it isn't pretty. Being a mom and being 9 months pregnant is hard. Really, really hard. I am not a good mother right now, and it makes me sad. I want to have the mobility and the energy to play with my toddler. I want to have my child sit comfortably in my lap while reading books. I want to not completely loose my freakin' mind when my toddler requests something 20 times in a row. I just can't cope. I can't physically cope, and I can't mentally or emotionally cope. The breakdowns. Let's not talk about the crazy breakdowns.
So let's compare. It looks like baby girl is smaller than Finn at 39 weeks. Actually, it sort of looked that way at 36 weeks. She is measuring fundal height on the smaller end too (Finn was always right on). Let's hope that a smaller reading does not indicate a need for a longer incubation time. (For reasons stated above.) The picture on the right was taken two days before I went into labor. I can only pray that I follow suite this time too. (Baby Girl, have I mentioned a few times now that I am ready for you to vacate the space already?)
Part of my impatience stems from my body playing mind games with me. Two weekends ago, I thought for sure delivery was imminent. I woke up two nights in a row with strong, but irregular contractions. My body was giving me other indications that could indicate labor was near (loose stools, frequent needing to pee, etc.---oh, I'm sorry, was that too much information?) I called my sisters and told them that they were on baby watch. At the midwife appointment, I had them check check my progression. I was 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. Yeah! But then came......nothing. Absolutely nothing. I went back to feeling like I was going to be pregnant for months--no contractions, no other symptoms, nothing. All you can say is that my body was prepping. At this last appointment, the midwives didn't check, and I didn't ask. I have since felt the occasional contractions--enough to tease me into thinking that something might be starting, but obviously no baby. I heard this is common in subsequent pregnancies, but it doesn't make it any less annoying. Stop with the mind games!
I have become one of those crazy tired pregnant ladies who glowers at everyone because no one can understand their misery. I hate that, but I think I hate being pregnant more so.....there you go.