Friday, December 21, 2012

A night out

I had my first night out, sans child, the other night.  Let's have a moment of silence while we contemplate that.

This is not something I feel comfortable advertising, because after all, Finn is almost 3.  Three years without a night off seems.....a bit extreme.  And that was just me taking the night off.  Mr. F. stayed home and put Finn to bed.  I can't, at the moment, really concieve of a time when we might both take off and leave Finn to a babysitter.  That sort of boggles my mind, so I tuck that idea away until it actually seems plausible.  Let's just say that there were reasons and impediments to this happening earlier.  Perhpas, I could have forced the issue, but I didn't.

Three years is a long time for one to be stuck permanently at home by 6 o'clock in the evening.

So, my night off.  I went to a holiday lab party where I was aquainted with all of four people (out of 15-20).  So, you know, it wasn't the ultimate night out experience for an introvert like myself.  That being said, I was shocked by how much I enjoyed myself.  For the most part, I talked about topics completely unrelated to parenting and life with kids.  I got to regale current graduate students with crazy advisor stories and bring up book titles of recent reads.  The most amazing thing was: the conversations were completely uninterrupted.

How glorious to have conversations begining to end without someone tugging, whining, screaming, and schememing for attention!  This just does not happen with a toddler.  (Or perhaps I should say with my toddler).  The high I felt was completely addictive, and I drove home after my brief reprieve thinking about how I could arrange a repeat experience.  A dinner out with friends, perhaps?  The possibilities seemed endless.  And there was a sense of urgency to replicate the experience before the birth of number two, when who knows what will be an option.

Of course, even as I was glowing with my new found freedom, I felt a twinge of regret.   I had missed bedtime!  I wasn't absolutely neccessary, and a suitable replacement could be found!  I found I missed that snuggle time as Finn falls asleep.  It seemed completely crazy to feel that way though.  Three years without a night off!  Who knows how many nights before I miss another bedtime?!  I don't need to feel all sad and regretful, but I did.  Motherhood.  It makes you insane.  (And you know, Finn found me at 4:30.  Then 5:30.  Then we shared some really not so awesome time together from 5:30-6:30 where it became apparent that he really wasn't going to fall back asleep.  So, you know, we made up for that lost time the evening before).

So now I just need to plan or be invited to another event before baby two comes along, and I forget what it is like to think and to have a coherent conversation.

1 comment:

Janssen said...

I am crossing my fingers that your next baby will be super easy and sleep through the night at about five days old.


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