I have a friend who teaches high school English. Currently, they are studying Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. On Monday, they had a quiz, and on that quiz was the following question:
On the back of your quiz, create (briefly) a Valentine's card from one character to another. The card should reveal the personality of its sender.
First, this is an awesome question. I would totally have loved answering this one. Second, the quiz was made even better by the fact that it was printed on pink paper. Third, I feel like a great opportunity was missed here. I wish I had come up with this idea on my own. Next year, my friend, next year.
My friend shared some of the responses he received. I think they are really quite clever.
Dearest Lizzy -- You are the second greatest person I have ever met. The day we are married will be filled with great joy, as you will be able to meet Lady De Bourgh. Oh, how you will love her! Our house will be grand (yet simple, in comparison to Lady De Bourgh's) and we will live a wonderful life. As long as you (and Lady De Bourgh) are with me, life is the best. With great love (but not too much, because some needs to be saved for Lady De Bourgh), Mr. Collins
To My Dearest Sister Elizabeth -- My beloved sister, on whom no faults fall, who never has a poor quality to speak of, and who brightens each and every day. Happy, Happy Valentine's Day, sister. Love, Jane
Dearest Elizabeth -- Despite your considerable inferiority, lowly connections, and obnoxious family, I, for some reason which I cannot seem to resist, have fallen in love with you most ardently. Please do me the honor and be mine. Yours truly, Fitzwilliam Darcy.
To Elizabeth --
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Thy love is deep
Our marriage shall be true.
And since I inherit
Your family's fortune
Being with me is the only way
For happiness to belong to you.
Mr. Collins (no need to send a Valentine back ... I know how mesmerized you must be ... and if by chance you do refuse me, which you won't, I've sent more Valentines to your friends)
To Mrs. Bennet -- Roses are red, Violets are blue ... You're loud, materialistic, and annoying, but .... I'm still married to you.
From, Mr. Bennet
Dear ___ (any woman who has a large fortune),
I have spent much time admiring you and your looks. You appeal to me very much, and I love you. I would not want to spend time with anybody else but you. With you, I could have a big house, nice horses, lots of wine, and many friends. Without you, I would have none of that at all. We could definitely prosper together. Love, with all of my greed (heart), Mr. Wickham
Even though your mom is super annoying and embarrassing, and your sister Lydia is a prissy, annoying, flirtatious girl, and your other sister Jane is not the best match for my friend Bingley, and Mr. Wickham can stick a trash can up his buttocks for eloping with my sister, and you're annoying and very rude, and you make me so angry at times ... and against my better judgement and societal urgings .... I love you.
Yours etc. Mr. Darcy