Wednesday, November 3, 2010

In which I probably fail as a mother

I am not really good with "significant events."  I am always running late with birthdays, and holidays stress me out.  This would be o.k. if I just didn't really care about birthdays and holidays, but I do!  I think I care about them a little too much.  I want to find the perfect birthday gift!  I want to make the holidays super meaningful and fun!  And then just thinking about it all stresses me out, and nothing ever happens.  I give mediocre gifts, and our holiday celebrations slip by without much fanfare.  Which is how we ended up not celebrating Finn's first Halloween. 

In my defense, most activities were past his bedtime.  The church's "Trunk or Treat?"  At six pm.  Other Trick or Treating?  Around 7 pm.  Trick or Treating at the library?  6:30 pm.  And while I guess I could make an exception to bedtime (which happens to be at 6), Finn didn't seem all that keen on staying up late.  (That's code for nuclear meltdown if he doesn't go to bed Right Away!)  The one activity that we could have gone to, I forgot about until it was almost done.

I was more or less o.k. with all of this until I started seeing other moms posting pictures of their precious babies on Halloween, and then I had to get all critical and judge myself against a perfect and (if I am really honest) unrealistic standard.  "I didn't celebrate my baby's First Halloween!  I fail as a mother!"  The mom-guilt is a strong force to reckon with, people.  It is silly to feel this way.  After all, they guy doesn't even eat solids.  He has no idea that Halloween is the time to stock up on free, sugary treats.  He doesn't even like strangers.  There was no compelling reason to celebrate Halloween, but that doesn't stop me from berating myself.  

I did succeed, however, in dressing Finn up as a fuzzy chicken for a playgroup the week of Halloween AND grabbing a picture of it.  Ten/twenty years from now, when the details are extremely fuzzy, I will state with extreme assurance to my son, "Of course we celebrated your first Halloween.  We even have a picture of you dressed up as a chicken.  See?  Proof!"

My cute little chicken

7 comments:

Nemesis said...

Awww . . . and see how cute and happy and precious he is! MUCH better than the evening meltdown why-won't-they-just-let-me-sleep pictures would have been, I bet. Go you!

Emily said...

Oh he is so cute. If it makes you feel better when my firstborn had her first Christmas she was 3 months old & we didn't get her anything. Mom guilt is overrated!

J said...

I don't even get my kids anything for their first birthdays. I mean, they get stuff from other people and we take a picture, but that's about the extent of it. No parties, cake (totally unhealthy anyway), anything. I figure, for the first couple years, they don't care. Why should I train them to? It's not like they really need more toys! And Halloween? I don't really care for the holiday. They can dress up, but we skip the trick-or-treating. For the last few years (starting when my 9 year old began noticing what other people did) we started just going out to eat and then playing at the fun park while everyone else goes trick-or-treating. It is such a fun family tradition that this year, when her friends invited her to trick-or-treat with them, she opted to do the family tradition instead.

Lady Susan said...

J--that is a great idea! Will have to keep that in mind for the future.

Melanie said...

I have no idea whether or not my parents dressed me up for my first Halloween, and I think I turned out to be a relatively well-adjusted adult. :)

Adorable picture!

Washington Hills said...

So been there. Your pictures of Finn are awesome!

maurine said...

i was at the park on st. patrick's day, and two other moms were talking about how the "leprechaun" had left goodies for their kids, and had left "green footprints" leading to the pot of gold. which was actually a bunch of homemade sugar cookies to share with all the friends at the park. my goodness.

our st patrick's day? they wore green shirts. we had some kind of green vegetable (to be festive AND healthy) with our fish (i had forgotten to thaw the corned beef in enough time, which i would eat any other day of the year, but this is a great excuse) and i made green jello, to be festive. the end. no leprechauns. but you know what? i have three boys and a bun in the oven. and we're moving! i happily indulged in a sugar cookie, but i refuse to feel inadequate because i didn't go overboard! do what works for you!

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