Sunday, October 17, 2010

Omniscience

Phil: I'm a god.
Rita: You're God?
Phil: I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think.
(From "Groundhog's Day"-1993)

Sometimes I wish I were a god.  There are times when being omniscient would be very helpful.  I, for example, respond really well if I know there is a near end in sight to any sort of physical, mental, or spiritual trial.  Can I run to the end of the block even though I am physically exhausted?  Yes.  Can I undertake a Master’s Thesis?  Yes, because there is a definitive end--a date that I am working towards.  Even the pains of childbirth were bearable because I was pretty sure they weren’t going to last forever (Although there were moments I questioned that knowledge.) 

Parents toss about the term “phase” a lot.  “Oh, this is just a phase that they are going through.”  “Teething is just a phase.”  In some sense this is comforting.  It means that there is an END.  This is good (see above.)  However, as a first time parent, I have no reference to the duration of said phase.  Are we talking about a week?  I could probably deal with a week.  I might even go so far as to make a paper chain and rip off rings as we move progressively closer to the END.  Are we talking about years?  Because I might just not be able to stop myself from bodily injury.  I will tell you now that there are some dark moments (3 a.m. and baby won’t sleep) where I feel very stab-y.  It is at these moments that knowing a definitive END would do wonders for my sanity. 

(And now I am fantasizing about knowing the exact lengths Finn’s naps--whether it would be worth taking one or not.  There is nothing so disheartening than just escaping into dreamland only to be cruelly yanked back to reality by an awake baby.)

Yes.  Omniscience is very alluring right now. 

However, I don’t see myself turning godlike anytime soon.  I guess the best I can do is to write things down so that with subsequent babies (Ha!  Not today!) I can look back and get a sense of When This Too Shall Pass.

So, if you were Omniscient (ignoring the fact that you would know everything) what in particular would you like knowing?

3 comments:

Ange said...

I know when the "phase" of teething will be over. When he gets his tooth in completely. Hardy har har. Had to joke about it...some of these "phases" can sure be killers.

Washington Hills said...

Hang in there! (And for the record, that has got to be one of the best movies of all time!)

Jaimee said...

Well, I can tell you that most babies/toddlers are done with the horrible teething by 18-24 months. Sounds like Foster is a little on the early side teeth-wise, so maybe it will be earlier for you! I also think, anecdotally, that babies that teethe earlier have less teething issues- have fewer teething phases.

Now I'd like to know when Avalon will be done with this behavioral phase and how her spirited temperamental will affect her in school.

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