I have nicknamed Baby F. “The Small Dictator.” I have learned that as a parent of a small child, my life revolves around him and his needs. My needs? Completely secondary--like sometimes I have to beg for a bathroom break.
Like Machiavelli, The Small Dictator could write a treatise on how to bend others to do his will. It would include some of the following:
- Keep your subjects weak. Severely limit their sleep and food intake by constantly demanding their presence.
- Keep them constantly occupied so that rebellion doesn’t strike. Do this by demanding continual entertainment.
- Show your disdain for them by spitting up and occasionally relieving yourself on them. This will keep them humble and also establish social rank.
- Always keep them second guessing by refusing to establish a regular schedule.
- Prevent fraternizing of the servants. Servants should not have time to spend together alone, even if there is a marital relationship.
- And finally, above all, remain as attractive and as cute as possible, occasionally bestowing smiles on those who serve you so that you lighten the burden of their servitude.