Monday, May 31, 2010
Height: 23 1/4” (41 percentile)
Weight: 13 lbs and 4 oz (71 percentile)
Head: 16” (49 percentile)
Has it only been two months that you have been with us? It seems like much longer than that. I keep reminding myself your age as I try to put things into perspective. No, it is not realistic for me to have figured out the whole motherhood thing yet. (Does one ever?) No, it is not realistic for me to expect you to deal well with extended outings. No, it is not realistic for me to expect you to have a set nap schedule during the day. I also need to remind myself of how well I am doing compared to a few weeks ago. We occasionally leave the house! I can consistently read your “I’m really tired and I need to go to bed now” cues. I am able to get a little bit more done around the house. I need to celebrate the small accomplishments and victories.
Sleeping: I am a bit nervous to write this down as I might jinx myself, but you seem to be sleeping consistently in 9 hour stretches at night. That means I get at least 7 straight hours with a couple of hours tagged on after a little early morning snack. This is apparently a Very Big Deal. I guess most kids your age are still sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches. Perhaps you realize that your mom would not function that way for very long. In either case, I thank you for sleeping at night. The day-time sleep is still a work in progress. At worst, we have multiple 1 hour naps and at best a few of 2-3 hour naps. The multiple 1-hour nap days really wear me out. You are tired but You Will Not Sleep. Hopefully, soon, you will learn to love sleep as much as I do.
Eating: Numbers do not lie. You are a little fatty. Maybe this is because you like to eat Every Freakin’ Hour. Sometimes I wonder that I am feeding you too much, but according to my google searches that is not really possible for a breastfed baby--the idea being that a baby will eat or not eat according to his/her hunger. So the truth is out Baby F.; you are a glutton. When not guzzling down on the milk, you seem to want to attack anything flesh toned with your gummy, gaping, maw: your hand, your arm, any other arm in the vicinity. Truth be told, I am slightly concerned about your cannibalistic tendencies.
Other assorted accomplishments: You have pretty stellar head control, little man. I don’t have to worry about your little bobbly head quite as much, and you only occasionally head-butt your mama in the kisser. You are also smiling, laughing, and cooing as your parents make fools of themselves in attempts to amuse you. Who would have thought that mom and court jester are identical positions? When not laughing and cooing and speaking the language of all babies, you are speaking billy goat. I don’t know how you learned the art of goat speak, but learn it you have. Maybe you are not really a baby at all, but actually a goat under a magical enchantment. That would also explain the head-butting.
Thoughts on motherhood: as an aunt or a general onlooker, I remember looking at the difficult aspects of parenting (meltdowns, fussiness, assorted difficult behavior) and thinking, “What a nightmare! Do I really want to deal with that? I don’t think I would have the patience.” What I was leaving out of the equation was love. Yes, I love my nieces and nephew, but it isn’t the same kind of love that you have as a parent. When Baby F. is fussy, and I am physically and mentally exhausted, I still find myself remarkably patient. The burden of parenthood is eased by the love that you have for your children. I didn’t really understand that until now.
I also find myself looking for a “silver bullet.” Something, anything, that will make life easier. I keep thinking “there has got to be a better way.” Perhaps there is a better baby carrier that will allow me to get more stuff done. Perhaps there is a way to get my baby to sleep better during the day. Perhaps there is a workout video that will enable me to loose my postpartum belly in the 30 minutes that I have while Baby F. is napping. I can’t seem to grip the reality that motherhood is Just Plain Hard. I want there to be an easy solution, and I am pretty sure there isn’t one. (Although if you have found an answer to any of the above, I am all ears.)
So two months down and many more to come. I am excited to see what this little guy has in store for us.