Monday, December 14, 2009

Out of the closet

Word is officially out at church that I am preggo. We had been keeping it under wraps at church so as to prevent, as long as possible, a repeat of this scenario. I knew that people would start to wonder as soon as my belly began to bulge. I guess I was lucky to have made it this far along. However, people’s reaction to the news confirmed to me that I was absolutely correct in keeping it a secret for as long as possible.

Once again, I wasn’t asked, even though I am the one greatly increasing. Nope, instead people chose to accost Mr. F. in the hallways. Perhaps this was because they thought it was “indelicate” to ask a woman whether she was pregnant or just gaining weight. Or perhaps they were just interested in a bit of gossip and not really the person about whom it referenced. The facts are this: the people who I actually like and respect chose to ask me directly, and sure, it might have been a bit “indelicate” but at least I knew that they cared enough to have an actual conversation with me.

I also had people barging into the young women class room (I am one of the three people in charge of the young women ages 12-18 in our ward) and offering me their congratulations in loud, unmistakable tones—making sure that if the people in the general vicinity didn’t know I was pregnant, they knew now (Because, obviously, the fact that we hadn’t been advertising the fact to the general public could now be soundly ignored.) So not only did I have to play all happy in response to their congratulations, I also had to deal with reproachful, dramatic teenagers who demanded to know “why they weren’t told earlier.”

Of course, the fact that we chose not to tell anyone also became a subject of conversation. “So what, you were just going to walk around and let people think you were getting fat?” Um, yes. And it is your own fault if you are dim enough to believe that my normal weight gain is only restricted to my belly and boobs. At some point it would have become obvious that I am having a baby and not just gaining unnecessary fat (I personally think that it is quite obvious right now), and if that day is the day I bring my newborn babe to church, well, I am o.k. with that too. What they don’t seem to want to accept is that I told the people whom I wanted to tell: my family, my friends, and yes, even random people on the internet.

Which brings me to the last point that really frustrated me: people were more interested in finding out their position in the gossip chain than they were in the news itself (i.e. me expecting my first child.) One woman offered up no congratulations. Instead she just made the comment, “I thought everyone knew but me!” Well Lady, I am so glad I could help you figure out where you are in the general social order.

So yeah. The word is out. I am sure that She-who-must-not-be-named (SWMNBN) found out the news that very day, because “does SHMNBN know?” was a question posed to Mr. F. by one of the many interfering people who were trying to ascertain if I was just fat or pregnant this Sunday. I mean, SWMNBN is practically family and all. I wonder why we overlooked her when we were calling the parents/siblings/grandparents, etc.) I am just so glad that I can share this very special moment with her. *Please note the heavy use of sarcasm.*


Janssen said...

Because, of course, everything is about the person you're telling, not the actual, you know BABY. How ludicrous.

Just the thought of telling people and all the people getting their feelings hurt over it stresses me out. Perhaps I will never announce any pregnancies and just send out an email when my children are born.

Ange said...

One person actually wrote me an email and said "this was an accident right? You wouldn't do this on purpose again right? At least your having a boy." I just had to laugh because she is the type of person with a porcupine personality but doesn't know it. People are just silly and definitely say dumb things...I would be included in that list for sure! hahaha. It's fun to hear your pregnancy stories. You make me laugh.

heidikins said...

Almost everything about the frustrations and anxieties in this post gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I'm so sorry. Ugh.

In other news, CONGRATS ON YOUR FIRST BORN! I thought I'd just throw that in, seems like it wasn't really mentioned on Sunday. ;o)



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