Friday, May 15, 2009

Why I might possibly go crazy, if I wasn’t already

I am developing a few new hypotheses. The first one being:

H1) A person’s physical surroundings reflect their state of mind.

Meaning that an organized mind is reflected in the organization of a person’s space, or vice versa.

As it is not raining today, I am stuck in the office organizing this:

Yes, this is supposed to be data. However, this data worksheet is entirely incomprehensible to any mind except for the crazed, tripped-up one that created it. There are no useful headings; there are random numbers unassociated with site, date, etc.; and there are at times three different site names for one physical location. And the color?! You can’t miss the color. It makes me want to profane just looking at it. It is an acid trip at work.

I lost my mind within five minutes.

However, after working with the PI (principal investigator) on this project, I can't say that I am surprised. At first I thought the chaotic and disorganized thought patterns bespoke of a cultural/language barrier (she is from Brazil), however after seeing her data sheets (and all of them are like this), I am convinced that I would find her conversation to be just as dizzying in Portuguese as I do in English.

The irony? She has mentioned on several occasions about how she is an organized person and that she needs and wants things to be organized. Which brings me to my second hypothesis:

H2) Individuals can not see themselves nor their actions clearly.

This woman craves organization but in actuality creates chaos all around her. I have another friend who craves a simplistic life along with a sense of space and relaxation yet routinely over-complicates projects as well as over-commits herself. They act like there are these outside forces working against them when in reality, they are, of sorts, bringing about their own destruction.

It makes me wonder what sort of circular traffic pattern I am in. Based on my surroundings and my own spreadsheets, I would have to say that I am walking the tightrope between chaos and order.


Washington Hills said...

Lady Susan, I am so glad you wrote this! I have felt, as of late, that I've lost much of the discipline of life that used to come naturally to me. And I've been saying that life just got busy on me...I think I simply re-prioritized things without realizing it.


Thanks for the epiphany!

Washington Hills said...

And in case there is any confusion, I'm talking about my mediocre scripture reading and recent weight gain. Oh, yeah, full confessional, baby!


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