Monday, December 8, 2008

The Interloper

I have decided that I need to start having babies. Lots and lots of babies. And now that I have a facilitator, I see no other impediment.

You might wonder at this sudden desire for children as I have hitherto given no indication that I am at all prepared for the responsibilities of motherhood. That was because I had a pretty dependable source of baby- and young child-love—my nieces and nephew. However, it has come to my attention that there is an interloper to our family scene who is stealing the love away from its rightful owner. Here is evidence collected from facebook.

ITEM ONE:

ITEM TWO:

This baby-/young child-love stealer is the girlfriend of my brother-in-law’s-brother--practically a stranger and obviously not to be trusted. Plus, she doesn’t share any genetic information with the wee bairns. The greater amount of love should naturally pass through bloodlines. Preferably, through the mother. Which means I should get the greater portion. And maybe my sister too.

Unfortunately, this undiscriminating affection by the wee bairns has gone on unchecked for months now, and so the damage is done. If I am lucky, I can force a hug and a kiss on them as they run past in pursuit of other fun activities with other fun people.

So you see, this is why I must start afresh with my own babies and quick before my ovaries start shriveling up. Having a baby I am sure, would solve all my problems and provide a constant source of unconditional love.

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