Monday, December 15, 2008

Nasty Beasties

I am not a pet person. I strongly believe that animals and humans should not co-habitat. Pets breed dirt, hair, and dander. And what is worse, they don’t clean up after themselves. Unlike children, they do not grow older, get jobs, and support you in your old age. Therefore, they are useless.

You don’t believe me that pets are nasty, nasty creatures? (And nasty things should stay in the woodshed where they belong.) From some handy, dandy website I learned that there are 39 important diseases people catch directly from animals. There are at least 48 important diseases people get from the bite of bugs that bit an infected animal. And there are at least 42 important diseases that people get by ingesting or handling food or water contaminated with animal feces. Here is an incomplete list (of the more well known):

Cat Scratch Disease
Plague Infection—Yes, you can catch the plague! Do you need another reason to keep them out of the house?


Lyme Disease
Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
Raccoon Round Worm
Mad cow disease
Escherichia coli

Yeah, gross. Which is why I feel well justified in saying that pets are evil.

I did bend my stance a bit when it came to Mr. F.’s fish tank. (We will ignore the fact that he had no intention on ever giving up his fish. I like to think that I was the magnanimous one in letting him keep it.) After all, fish don’t come into the house after rolling around in the muck and garbage and then expecting you to love them for it. Fish are contained. And as long as I didn’t have to take care of them and their tank, I was o.k. with them swimming around and looking pretty. (And let me tell you, after devoting two years of my life to rearing fish, I am not cleaning another tank anytime soon.)

But then, what did Mr. F. have to go and do? He had to go sell his soul to the cheapest bidder and buy fish food at W***mart. Infected food. With small, nasty beetles in it.

We had been seeing the occasional nasty beastie (i.e. small red/brown beetle) in our room (where the fish tank is) and in the bathroom (right next door to the fish tank) for a couple of months. However, within the last week, they were showing up with disturbing frequency. It got to the point yesterday that Mr. F. was determined to find the mother load (i.e. the beastie nest) and then destroy it. Where did the trail of beasties lead him? To the fish tank. And then to the fish food. Thank goodness, he was wise enough not to show me the nest of swarming beasties. Because I might have flipped, brought out the MS222, and finished of the nasty fishies who eat nasty, infected fishy food. A dusting of white snow would be the last thing those fishes saw before they met their maker.

As it was, I saw enough to leave me smooshing every dark spot I see whether it be sock fuzz or a food crumb. Not to mention I spent the whole night smashing beetles in my dreams, which, let me tell you, is not a restful activity. I am trying NOT to blame Mr. F. for bringing nasty beasties into my haven of rest and comfort, yea, even my bedroom.

Let me tell you, my opinion on pets stands very much in force, thank you.


Wild Rose said...

I need to take issue with your list of diseases one can get from animals. Hardly any of these can you get from animals that any sane person keep as pets. So, Lady Susan, I charge you with inflammatory journalism. Harper is sitting behind me and is ready to scratch cat hair and dander in your general direction. ;-)

Washington Hills said...

Deanne, I love your blog! I just read and smile. I'm with you on the fish food thing. Doesn't that stuff smell bad? Having said that, my kids would drop dead of happiness if I brought one home...oh, well...maybe AFTER we sell and move to Yakima...How is married life? You seem, despite fish issues, awesomely happy. Yeah!

Mr. F's mother said...

Hmmmmm...........39 issues from pets, was wondering if you could research how many we get from those humans. Mr.F's mother.


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