I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday as I was walking back to my office from a class:
I am almost done with graduate school.
Now normally this thought is followed by a sigh of relief—finally, I can be done with all the writing, editing, reading, etc. I am just plain tired of thinking about white perch bioenergetics.
However, yesterday the thought was more of a shock—in a month I will, given all practical considerations, no longer be a student. I will no longer be able to take weeks off at a time. I will no longer be able to work from home whenever I want to. I won’t have the flexibility in my day as I do now. The thought made me a bit nostalgic. Because despite all the moaning and groaning I do, I really enjoy being a student.
Oh yeah, and the real world scares the crap out of me.
Yet, as a fellow friend and graduate student reminded me today, I am in a really good place right now. I am not under the proverbial guillotine of needing to find a job right away or else live on the street. I don’t have to stress about writing my thesis, finding a job, and potentially moving all at the same time. And while the jobs around here might be limited, that limitation could potentially give me the opportunity to branch out and to really find something I like doing.
At this point, I stopped looking around for a paper bag to blow into.
Sometimes, I get so caught up in my anxiety and worry that I can’t enjoy the moment that is NOW. And speaking to my friend today, I realized that there is always a silver lining if you can break out of your anxiety-driven tunnel focus to look for it.
So here is to enjoying the last month of graduate school life and embracing the adventure that is the future!