Thursday, November 13, 2008

Name Calling

So last night, Mr. F. said:

“You are such a younger sibling.”

All because I started reading the book he had just started but hadn’t finished. I find this sort of name calling unnecessary. I mean, just because I view possession as a very gray subject, one to be loosely interpreted, it does not follow that he can typecast me.

So in an effort to look at this objectively I have compiled a list of characteristics from several internet sources that are typical of younger siblings.

Behaves like an only child
Well, yeah. That is because I would have been an only child if they had me first--being everything they ever wanted and more.

Feels everyone is bigger and more capable
Perhaps. Or perhaps this is because I was made to feel like everyone is bigger and more capable? The trials of being the youngest.

Expects other to do things, make decisions, take responsibility
Let’s just say I allow others the opportunity to do so.

May not be taken seriously
Don’t I know it!

Outgoing charmers
Of course!

Affectionate
Perhaps overly so. I don’t care. They are going to cuddle whether they want to or not!

Uncomplicated
Check

Sometimes a little absent-minded
But isn’t everyone?

Carefree and vivacious
Check. Except when I worry. And worry. And worry.

Rebellious
Whatever. That was the older, problem children.

Critical
*cough, cough. Looks away*

Temperamental
No. The screaming fits I had as a child were because I was seriously misunderstood.

Spoiled
Definitely not!

Used to being teased and put down
Yes!

According to some blogthings “Birthorder Quiz,” I, as a fourth born, can aspire to such prestigious employments heights as factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. Wow. That isn’t insulting or anything.

The results of the iVillage compatibility test were this:

You are equally popular with men and women, and people genuinely enjoy your company. Despite the self-doubt that occasionally clouds your mind, you’re loved and respected by family, friends and coworkers. You have an abundance of creativity, more than average drive, and ambition to spare. (Yet I can only aspire to some blue collar job?!) Sometimes, however, you feel that you have altogether too many interests and hobbies, and you wish you could focus better on just one or two that might lead to a good career. (This is actually very true. However, is this really because I am the youngest? I am skeptical.) Your best match is an older brother, preferably one who has younger sisters. (Whoa! Good thing Mr. F. falls into that category *wipes brow*). You like the way he takes charge in romantic situations (Well that is true. Otherwise, things would not have progressed because as you can tell from above, “I expect others to do things and to take responsibility”), and you enjoy teasing and interacting with him (Well, true.). Your best celebrity love match is Conan O’Brien. (Wow. Why did I marry Mr. F. when I could have had Conon O’Brien?!)

Firstborns on the other hand are perfectionistic, reliable, conscientious, list-makers, well-organized, critical, serious, scholarly, achiever, self-sacrificing, people-pleasers, conservative, supporter of law and order, loyal, and self-reliant. (I have bolded items I feel apply to Mr. F.) Firstborns get to aspire to positions of leadership or high achievement. They can be accountants, executive secretaries, engineers, or go for anything that takes precision, strong powers of concentration, and exacting mental discipline. Fifty-two percent of United States presidents were firstborns.

Dude. I get to be a freakin’ factory worker while a firstborn can be U.S. President. Tell me that doesn’t suck people. Discrimination against the youngest rears its ugly head again. Also notice that there are no typically regarded negative qualities in the firstborn’s description. What the heck? Who writes these things? Firstborns? Oh, obviously. Because no one else has the sufficiently “strong powers of concentration” to do so.


New Poll: What birth order are you?

1 comment:

Retail Worker #48721093 said...

Only. We tend to be like the first borns though...

sorta.

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