Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Off My Head with Joy

Freddy: Well, it was the way he put it. He said didn't I think it would be a splendid thing for Lucy if he married her and wasn't I off my head with joy?

A Room with a View
E.M. Forester

I have a couple of really good friends getting married this month. I am simply overjoyed for them as they seem to have found some really fantastic fellows. One of them started dating her soon-to-be husband around the same time I started dating Mr. F. When she called me to tell me of her engagement, I remember having the distinct and rather superior thought, “I am glad that Mr. F. and I are more sensible than to get engaged five months after we first started dating.” A week and a half later, Mr. F. proposed, and I said yes. I love it when Fate makes me Eat. My. Words.

Yet, I have to constantly remind myself that I am following these girls a mere month later to the alter. For some reason, I am finding it ridiculously difficult to remember that fact. Marriage is something you daydream about….not actually go and do. I am still ingrained in this single mindset that I have cultivated for over ten years. Mr. F. made some offhanded comment this last weekend about being attached to a person forever. To which I replied in my very well-developed single and independent manner, “well, isn’t that a frightening prospect.” It took me a few seconds to 1. correctly interpret the look of surprise on Mr. F.’s face and 2. realize that I am about to do just that.

So yeah, perhaps there is still some adjusting to do on my part.

That being said, I think that the joy I feel in my friends’ upcoming nuptials stems from the fact that we are making this big life-changing step all at the same time. I don’t need to feel guilty that I have found love while they have not, nor is there a possibility of me feeling resentful in their moving on with their lives. I am able to feel simply unrestrained, unconditioned Joy. It has been awhile since I have felt my life was in sync with my friends and it feels nice.

And truly, because I feel it needs to be said for the record, I am very excited to marry Mr. F. And the prospect of spending forever with him has grown on me and is not quite as frightening as I first imagined. However, in deference to my readers, I try, and will endeavor to try, to keep the moony, lovesick comments to a minimum.

So yes, I think it is safe to say that I am “off my head with joy” both personally and for my friends.

1 comment:

David and Shelly said...

I'm glad you commented on me (though I feel a little ganged up on :o) because I lost your blog add. Its good to be back!

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