The time: 8:30 am, Monday the 13th of August
The place: my office
The occurrence: a minor melt down in response to the question, “How’s it going?”
My response (yelled with appropriate arm waving): “IS A BREAK TOO MUCH TO ASK? WOULD IT BE A HUGE INCONVENIENCE TO ANYONE IF I WERE TO HAVE A DAY OFF?”
This after only 30 minutes of being at work and one question. Luckily, I was able to keep the tears of frustration at bay and play it off as crazed funny. The response was laughter instead of frightened, concerned looks. Little did they know how close I was to chest beating, hair ripping, body-rocking sobs. I am not sure how long the little restraint I currently posses will last.
Why the near insanity? It has been almost a straight month since: I have had a day off (this includes weekends); I have been able to sleep in past six; I have been able to visit a locale further than a five mile radius of the lab; and I have been able to think about anything other than work and fish. I am not hardwired to cope with this kind of stress and I am very close to malfunctioning.
The beam of light in all this bleakness? I now have a helper--someone to whom I can delegate responsibility (and let me tell you, I am delegating. No control issues here.) Oh, and four more days until I can leave it all behind and escape to the beach.