Tuesday, July 24, 2007


When we last met with Lady Wicker, she was suffering from incurable insomnia brought on by my sister’s loudly closing door. How ironic therefore, that the next story regarding Madam deals with her inability to hear major disturbances.

My sister mistakenly took the wrong set of keys with her last Saturday morning when she dumped the recycling outside, thus effectively locking herself out of her apartment. However she remained fairly calm, knowing the Lady Wicker still slept and should be able to let her back in. N rang the doorbell and waited…..and waited. She rang it a second time, and then a third. Each ring bringing a new wave of frustration, she ended up really laying into the doorbell. Still no answer. She walked over to her very kind and cool neighbors. They obligingly let her use the phone to call her apartment. She called four times. No answer. She walked back to her apartment. On walking back to the apartment, who does she see leave the apartment but Lady Wicker, on her way to the gym.

N: “[Lady Wicker], I have been ringing the doorbell and calling the house for the past ten minutes trying to get in……I locked by self out!”

Lady Wicker: “oh!” {a shocked, and appalled look graces her face}, “I had no idea! Here, let me let you in.” {she, all solicitousness, lets my sister back into the apartment}.

N lives on the top floor of a two apartment complex. The tenant in the bottom apartment has a very large dog who annoyingly barks at any disturbance. The dog, understandably, was going ballistic. The question now remains dear reader, what with the phone and the doorbell ringing and the dog barking, do you honestly believe that Lady Wicker did not hear/know/understand that someone was trying to contact her? Unless, she is bordering on being deaf (which according to her last complaint is highly unlikely), I think we can safely answer no. The only other explanation then is that yes, she did hear N. ringing the doorbell and calling the house……BUT CHOSE TO IGNORE IT. Clear passive-aggressive behavior.

The woman is clearly unstable and should be locked up. Unfortunately for society at large, she will be this fall, indoctrinating our future leaders at Harvard (a double unfortunate here. The first being her teaching at Harvard; the second being that the majority of society’s leaders come from ivy-league institutions…..but that is another rant). The upside is that N. has only about a month more of her crazy passive-aggressive and general psychotic behavior.

The moral to this story: when your wise, younger sister tells you that a woman is psycho, and you should in no way let her live with you…….listen to her.

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