Or how to summarize six books in one hundred words or less, which is what the BBC asked Harry Potter fans to do. You can read all of them here. You should note that the entries contain spoilers for the first six books, so if you haven't read them you might want to close your eyes if you care about things like that (and then get a move on because what are you waiting for?). My favorite:
"By the way, Harry," said Professor Dumbledore halfway through book six, "a prophecy says that you alone can defeat evil Lord Voldemort. That's why he keeps trying to kill you. You must destroy all seven pieces of his soul, and you've got one book left to do it in. Don't expect any help from me; I'll be dramatically murdered in two chapters' time. Besides that, there's exams to pass and hormonal stirrings to contend with. Now do you wish you'd gone to that Muggle comprehensive?"
Also well done were the CV and the gangsta versions.