It is insanely hot. The visible heat in ceaseless shimmering waves rolling over me. As I sit here in my room, trying to remain still…sure that the smallest of movements will trigger my sweat glands into over producing…..I search for a way to remain sane. I attempt to imagine myself away to a place where the heat and the humidity add to the general charm and attraction……like India. A place and a scenario where my shiny face and damp, limp clothes only adds to my allure. Unfortunately, I can’t feel remotely seductive or attractive with a shiny forehead and sticky skin. Ugh.
And with the heat comes the midges, which have already taken the opportunity to feast upon my flesh leaving behind annoying, itchy bumps. They will be followed by the mosquitoes and the flies. For this reason, I have no desire to travel to the tropics. I don’t care how glamorous and seducing they look on travel brochures and films. I know the truth. With the heat comes the insects…..demanding their pound of flesh. You pay for the crystal blue waters and the sandy beaches.
And the myth of solar energy…..there is no solar energy. The sun, instead, is a giant, golden energy sink--sucking away at my vitality like a parasite, leaving behind a hollow husk.
Summertime is marketed as the favorite time of year—a time of freedom and fun. Yet I will not be hoodwinked by the attempts to romanticize, commercialize, and mythologize summer. I can not expect “easy living” and “summer lovin.’” Because as Cole Porter says, “It’s too darn hot!” Too hot to look nice, too hot to socialize, too hot to acquire a healthy, glowing tan, and too hot even enjoy the freedom from classes. All I desire is a cool dark basement…..a place where I can stay all summer, letting my skin acquire an even paler complexion from the complete lack of sun. A place too cool for the blood sucking insects and the mind numbing heat. Ahhh…