A group of my college friends decided that we needed a way to quantify our pathetic lives--hence the development of the pity rating system. The system was based on a scale from 1 to 5 with 1 indicating your life fully functional and deserving of no pity, and 5 being horribly pathetic and deserving of extreme amounts of sympathy. The grade was determined by how many sleazy guys had been interested in you, and how many times you had been rejected. (Don’t you just love the promotion of positive, healthy, self-esteem building thinking?)
The minutes of the meeting (as recorded in my journal) showed the scores falling out as follows:
K-a pity factor of 3 due to two slimy guy experiences and no other positive experiences.
Y-a pity factor of 1 because she only had a pseudo-sleazy experience.
X-topped at 5 with a lot of rejections and sleazy men and no positive experiences.
Me-a pity of factor of 2 because although I had lots of interested sleazy guys and rejections I supposedly (and here the data is suspect) had positive experiences to balance things out. I was rewarded though with a factor of 4 for sheer mass quantity.
Eight years later…I wonder how these scores and our perceptions have changed.