Friday, January 26, 2007

The Pity Factor

A group of my college friends decided that we needed a way to quantify our pathetic lives--hence the development of the pity rating system. The system was based on a scale from 1 to 5 with 1 indicating your life fully functional and deserving of no pity, and 5 being horribly pathetic and deserving of extreme amounts of sympathy. The grade was determined by how many sleazy guys had been interested in you, and how many times you had been rejected. (Don’t you just love the promotion of positive, healthy, self-esteem building thinking?)

The minutes of the meeting (as recorded in my journal) showed the scores falling out as follows:

K-a pity factor of 3 due to two slimy guy experiences and no other positive experiences.
Y-a pity factor of 1 because she only had a pseudo-sleazy experience.
X-topped at 5 with a lot of rejections and sleazy men and no positive experiences.
Me-a pity of factor of 2 because although I had lots of interested sleazy guys and rejections I supposedly (and here the data is suspect) had positive experiences to balance things out. I was rewarded though with a factor of 4 for sheer mass quantity.

Eight years later…I wonder how these scores and our perceptions have changed.


yola said...

I'm assuming I'm Y here, correct me if I'm wrong....I can't even remember which pseudo-sleazy experience that was. Was it my prom date? I bet it was - that was just weird. I'd put myself up to at least a 2, maybe 3 now, because of that one bartender in Madrid.

And I kept wondering who in the world, X was...then I remembered. I wonder what she's up to these days.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it funny to think back? I am pretty sure that your pseudo-sleazy experience was your prom date. ;) I was also thinking that my so-called "positive" experiences that decreased my score soon afterwards became negative/sleazy/bad experiences. Plus, if we are to add the intervening years in: some sleazy ukrainian come-ons, B.O. Boy, rejection by Mr. Classical Pianist etc., I would put my score as being lower....say 3 or 4. Happy to say though that mass quantity still is there. ;)


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